My Story
Tonya Curry
Phoenix, Arizona · Sharing my practice online
What brought me here—and what I'm still learning.
My work with these ideas started long before these three podcasts. It started in prison, with a book I didn't understand but couldn't put away.
Looking at the cracks
I've been to prison multiple times. I used to call the things that put me there petty, but I've had to look deeper than that. For me, the question became: what am I doing to myself? Where am I deceiving myself, creating cracks inside, and then living through those cracks?
I was caught up in drama, pain, and things that conflicted with one another. They ran my life without me even knowing it. Childhood experiences stayed in the back of my head for so long that I didn't realize how much they were shaping my life.
The book I kept for two years
In prison, I came across Neville Goddard's The Power of Awareness. I didn't understand it. I couldn't even compartmentalize the information. But I kept that book for two years.
I ended up being released a year and a half early. During that time, I experienced things I understood as manifestation—assuming something to be so and seeing it become that way. Living in the essence of my wish fulfilled became part of how I approached my life.
“As long as I lived in the essence of my wish fulfilled—that's what it did. It fulfilled.”
— Tonya Curry
It reminds me of being a little girl, dancing around in a tutu and living inside a fairytale. That feeling of being in the end result mattered to me. I have a fairytale now that I didn't really imagine when I was younger.
When imagination doesn't come easily
If you have a hard time imagining, meditating, or finding peace within yourself, I understand. My astrological sign is Taurus, and I'm also a Rooster. I connect that with the logical way I look at things. For me, imagining bliss or good things was hard—especially things I hadn't ever experienced.
I started with the foundation
Every night in prison, a couple minutes before lights out, I would lie down, put earplugs in my ears, and begin to build my house in my imagination. I started with the foundation, the plumbing, and the yard. Then I built from the ground up.
That was how I began learning to meditate—to hypnotize myself, as I thought of it. I would find myself falling asleep in what felt like a lucid state, seeing myself in that house.
After my release, I lived in many houses that I was able to move into and move out of when I needed to. I also experienced a situation where, in essence, I got to say goodbye to a loved one who had died. I understood those experiences as things I had manifested from the scenes I built before lights out.
Small scenes before big things
My brain couldn't wrap around large things at first: large amounts of money, a new car, or anything that seemed so far out of reach. So I started with little things I could actually picture and feel.
With a car, I would see my hands wrapping around the steering wheel. I would see the emblem—the brand on the wheel—and feel relief and complete acceptance of the end result. Over time, I experienced things I had pictured. I also began winning large amounts of money. To me, these experiences made the practice feel real.
Just before falling asleep, when I was as drowsy as I could be, I would picture putting vases on the mantel, driving down my driveway, or putting on a suit in the mirror. It felt like dreaming while still knowing I was here.
Living in the essence of the wish fulfilled
As time went on, I found myself living those scenes. I began waking up and getting dressed, even when I had nowhere to go. I had no job, no plans—nothing. But I began to live in the essence of the wish fulfilled, and my life began to look like what I had envisioned.
This is my experience, not a promise that imagining something guarantees a house, a car, or money. What I can share is where I began: with something concrete, one detail at a time.
Start a small visualization“Start with the foundation of your house. That's a start. Pay attention.”
— Tonya Curry
Three episodes. One ongoing practice.
Recognizing what I was carrying took years. By the time I stumbled onto these podcasts, I had already started this work. But they gave me a better way to look at it. I brought all three together.
Chase Hughes
Why You Can't Relax
I started recognizing the emotional credit card: holding onto the feeling, paying interest, and keeping my body on guard. My work became noticing the payments and deciding the debt is paid.
A Changed Mind · David Bayer
I'm Begging You to Start Journaling
I saw how journaling only in my head could keep me chewing on the same thing. Now I write the one thing that bothered me on a page, look at what happened and what could have gone differently, and then tear it up or wet it down and throw it away.
A Changed Mind · David Bayer
Speak to Yourself Correctly
The way I speak to myself shapes how I see other people. Demeaning words and labels keep me on the hate card. Compassion is the key to connection—not another reason to judge myself or somebody else.
If you ever read this
A message directly to Chase Hughes
Chase, I too am pretty good at picking up other people's tics, quirks, reactions, dilations—all of those things. I've been pretty good at that my whole entire life.
However, I would see a big red sign. I would see all of the signs, and I would continue forward.
“If you have a way that will stop somebody in their tracks, even after seeing all of the red flags, and they still don't stop, I would love to see what you got.”
— Tonya Curry
Keeping what helps. Questioning the rest.
These podcasts changed my outlook, but they also brought confusion. Some things conflicted with what I first learned. I'm still sorting through that—deciding what is beneficial for me to keep, what to release, and how to conduct myself.
I'm not sharing this because I have everything figured out. I'm sharing what I've lived, what I'm questioning, and what I'm putting into practice.